Children of today are very smart. They understand emotions but are often confused about how to deal with them. This is when we as parents, need to step in and help them. We need to share our feelings with our children. They need to know that its okay to feel sad, happy, lose, upset ( I would reserve anger for a much later stage) not have a good day or the ability to do better.
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Do you cry in front of your children? Don’t bottle up your emotions! Child Psychologists would insist that it is not fair on the parents’ front to hide their emotions.
Teach your children at this tender age that it’s okay to fall and fail.
Teach them to love everyone selflessly.
It is okay for some people who choose to be their friends and some who choose not to.
They will meet all sorts of people along the way. Some who will bully them, some who will disillusion them, some who will teach them the right things but they need to survive through all this without losing their identities.
Parenting is a new class everyday!
For our children to be compassionate and kind hearted, there are some things we need to teach them and learn ourselves:
Be Consistent: If you want your child not to be rude as it would hurt the other person’s feeling, then you need to follow suit. Don’t get into an argument with your husband over something minor in front of them. And if you do, then may sure you apologize to your spouse in front of your child. Saying “I’m sorry” shows that you accept your mistake and that’s ok. Learning how to say sorry is difficult for anyone, whether an adult or a child.
Explain emotions to them: If you’re reading a book, help them understand the different kinds of emotions expressed in the book – anger, sadness, shyness, silliness, irritation. You can follow up with examples like “You know when Papa got angry and how he went and sat outside on the swing for a while. May be when you feel angry that’s a good place to sit and let go of your anger”.
I know that I have a friend in my daughter and she has a friend in mommy. That friend plays with her, loves her, cares for her and loves her unconditionally. She does know that the friend gets upset when she hurts her, her friend doesn’t always win and its okay not to win each time, she knows that her friend loves her even if she tries and doesn’t succeed. Her friend gets upset or angry when she misbehaves. Her friend has other friends who also impact her lives and when she is upset with them she speaks to them about it. She knows that sulking is not an option now but if you speak to someone who has hurt you and resolve it its a solution.
I am sure that emoticons are not only for the WhatsApp and Facebook and we need to extend them to our children’s life. They do this so effectively in school by rewarding children with smileys & stars, golden stars that the children feel good.
Once in a while when your child does upset you or hurt you make a sad smiley too. And if you upset him/her then let her give you a sad smiley. Own up to your mistake and say sorry.
If I manage to build this trust in her I feel its a great starting point. For all parents who are going through this emotional journey please share your experience and tips about how you are dealing with raising children in modern day madness.
Image source: mediacache
Janani S Koushik
KSP Team
