We as men & women and here I clearly don’t mean mother & father, are so self involved and have so much more to do than parenting that having one child has literally become like putting a checkbox at 30 – 32 and saying alright this one’s done. With demanding schedules of our kids we get so drained that we cant for sure cope with double the madness. We want our lives back as soon as the baby is born.
Having one child or two is an absolutely personal choice and I think its not a decision but something that you have already made up your mind about. If you are still on the fence then you will always be there because if you wanted one then its on your list to do’s already of ticked off as done.
Can moms of two have it all with two kids?
Well not really and honestly I say this to all my friends, India is probably a country that’s the easiest to have more children, probably that’s why our grandparents had 8 – 9 of them. While we don’t have a great physical infrastructure we have a great social infrastructure. With joint families and enough domestic help raising kids, is easy. Yes if you are a mom that wants to have career & a social life and be a hands mom its tough but its easy if you prioritize. So the answer is you cant have it all unless you are a superwoman which most of us believe we are initially until the fizz settles and reality bites in, is NO. 24 hours is in no way sufficient to have a fit body, catch up with friends, family, drive around in any city in India, read, work, catch up on 2 kids and feed them, spend time with husbands, watch the house and chip in when house help goes on leave. If you were trying to manage this then you are on Mission Impossible.
Can moms with one or more kids have a career?
The answer would be fairly simple if you decide whether you want to be a hands on mom or pursue career. I would say instead of pursuing only a career pursue financial independence as that’s what will continue to drive your ego, pay your bills like you did earlier and help you make your own decisions. Trust me when you ask a woman if she would love to go to work each day very few would actually say yes, and after a week of staying at home they would want to go back. What we are all looking for is balance & money. Everyone man or woman feels good when the bank account goes ting-a-ling-ling.
While Lauren Sandler draws enough light on One and only child in her article in the New York times, I do believe that I haven’t made a decision I will ever regret. I am sure Alice Gomstyn  who just like me doesn’t regret having her second one. Yes going back to a corporate job that I left behind to raise my children is something I will never regret. Starting something that I love doing now and getting all the accolades is what I cherish the most. I know that after lots of close friends and thousands of acquaintances there are only two numbers on my speed dial list when I want to share any emotion and they both belong to my sisters.
Vaishnavi Venkatraman
Janani S Koushik
