Modern Vs Traditional Parenting: Understanding Differences & Similarities

After a whirlwind evening of taking our children out to the mall and trying to have a decent meal at a restaurant without having been shown the door or requested to reduce the decibels, we came home one Saturday night and after tucking in the kids to bed, I just lay there wondering…

Why does parenting seem more like an unending job with no pay and no rest?!
Did our parents feel the same too? Were they as exhausted as we are today? I dialed and spoke to my mom and her instant reaction was laughter. 

“Your generation complicates everything. Relax. It will get better.”

…she said and hung up. That got me thinking. Do we really complicate things? Has parenting really changed from earlier on? 

One thing from the top of my head that I think has changed in parenting over the generations is the approach to discipline. I am not saying we are doing a good job with our kids! Or that we were the “accha bacchas” back then.

But the approach has seen a paradigm shift over the years. The “strict disciplinarian” approach is wearing off and parents today are somewhat on the cusp of being strict + lenient. The classic “Wait until your father gets home” worked earlier on but that doesn’t hold much merit today, with dads shedding the strict image and in fact, resorting to taking up the “buddy” image today. 

Screen time wasn’t really a battle back then. What would you fight for if you know Chitrahaar was only 30 minutes a week and the cartoons were played every Sunday at a given time? Gave us a lot of time to explore and play out in the sun, till we were tired and tanned.

Cut to today’s scenario where the children are happy shooting virtual people in their imaginary fort or answering Dora’s incessant questions! Try putting your child on a Netflix fast for 6 days in a row! You can’t! 

The biggest change I see over the years is the gender reversal and the acceptance of the same. There were instances of moms working back then in our generation but the percentage was fewer and moms headed back home before dusk to be with the children, unlike dads who would work until late. Today, Who says Mom can’t be the breadwinner and Dad can’t be the stay-at-home parent? We’re living in the 21st century, people!

Also as millennial parents, I feel we are a lot more open to communication and ideas from the children. Not to take away anything from how supportive our parents were, but I feel the percentage now is a lot more. A generation ago, you couldn’t possibly muster the courage to go and tell your parents that you want to be a social media influencer or start a podcast, but teens now are doing that, and to me, that is a sign of good and open communication in parenting. 

But all that said, not everything has changed in the parenting space. From instilling core values in our children to raising them to dream big, there are certain things we are doing right, that are deeply rooted in our values. As they rightly say, Parampara Pratishtha Anushasan! Like relying on the goodness of natural ingredients to moisturize my child’s skin. Ever since I was a baby (or even a generation before) my grandmother and mom used to go to every extent to get the best ingredients to make DIY skincare ranges at home. It was time-consuming no doubt but their effort paid off.

As a mom of this generation- would I do anything different? I would go the easier route while still looking out for the best for my baby. Like relying on the Cetaphil Baby Care range that is made with gentle formula and natural ingredients to pamper my baby’s delicate skin. This way, I can be assured that I am giving my child the best skin care (that doesn’t contain paraben, sulphates or alcohol) all in the comfort of my home. This is my version of Parenting Ki Nayi Parampara.

But I am all for team age-old wisdom when I am stuck at crossroads in parenting. Be it when I handle my tween’s attitude problems or worrying about my toddler’s potty training, I know I can fall back on my parents’ style of raising kids. One call to them, be it 4 am or 10 pm, I am sure mom will wield her magic with her tips that I swear never struck me- however simple and practical they are. That to me is ideal parenting.  Rooted in the age-old wisdom but blending and tweaking to the modern styles. 

This post is written in association with Cetaphil Baby.