“The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just have to find the ones worth suffering for.”- Bob Marley
Friendship is a very important part of our lives. In a way, you could say friends shape your character. They help you become who you are because as you develop so do they. You all grow up together, figure out yourselves together. They are like the wheels of a car- without one wheel the car cannot move forward.
It’s important to see the difference between friends who are there to stay in your life and those who will teach you which ones are there to stay. You cannot change the quality of people around you but you can change the quantity. Even if your circle is small, the type of people in your group is important.
There are two types of friends to look out for in your life
1. Those who are in it for the long run
2. The friends who put you down or are toxic
In life, it is really hard to know which friends are genuine and are there till your last day. Nobody really tells you how to differentiate between them. Sometimes you have to make your own mistakes to know.
But in case you ever wanted to know the signs that some of your friends are in it for the long run
- They are usually always around- even now when times are hard if you are still able to talk to your friends every day. You know they will be there
- If you feel comfortable opening up to them- trusting people is something that doesn’t come easy to all. Sometimes we do trust the wrong people but it’s not only about that. If you feel comfortable being yourself around them. You feel you don’t need to change the way you look, talk or behave.
- If they remember the little things you mentioned- it is a sign that they listen when you talk. Good listeners are usually signs of good friends because you know they care about you.
- They are not very possessive- you can’t only have one or two friends but if your friends keep you tied up or close off when you hang around new people, they are likely not to be great friends because friends give you your space to grow. It is like a flower- if a flower doesn’t grow, you don’t change the flower you change the environment of the flower.
They are happy for your successes- one thing to know is that other people’s victories are not your failures. If the people in your life cannot see that, maybe you should reconsider. The real ones are those who congratulate you or don’t make you feel bad just because you won something and they did not
You can’t have a good friend without being one
“The only way to have a friend is to be one.”- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Then there are the types of friends where you just have to let go in order to see how miserable you have been. It is kind of like removing a curtain from your eyes, it was all black until you saw the light. Toxic or fake friends are really hard to notice but here are some signs
- They never really want to hang out with you outside school or if they feel kind of embarrassed to be seen with you during school and only communicate with you through text
- They only hang out with you when there is no one else. They come to you as their last resort. You should be somebody’s first choice not last
- They subtly put you down and make you feel bad for your wins or they give you backhanded compliments
- They usually always talk about themselves. Replay the conversations in your head to count how many times you actually told them something about your day
- They try to change you- do something differently because their other friends don’t act the way that you do or they don’t like something about you which will affect their reputation
I would rather have an enemy who admits they hate me, instead of a friend who puts me down
“Some people come into your life to teach you how to let go.”- J. Johnson
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