A Peek into “What could it be “and “Shanta: The Story of Rama’s Sister” – How Positive Affirmations Result in Positive Mental Health!
Positive words or affirmations are directly related to positive mental health. It is one of the most important driving factors for a child to perform better in any task or achieve success in her endeavours. On the contrary, negative words exude negative vibes and demotivate/ demoralise the child, harming her mental health and derailing her from the set tasks. The cacophony of the voices screaming negative words have inordinate capacity to paralyze the child and make her abandon her pursuits. On the other hand, positive affirmations and the voices that speak out those words can help a child face her scariest and unknown when she is in the deepest woods. What we say or what we utter in front of a child becomes their narrative and that’s defines them in the long run. Let’s show more empathy in our conversations and speak out the narrative that our child wants her to be identified with.
I recently came across two books which became the theme of my piece here. While one beautifully exhibits the power of affirmation, the other offers a deep-seated advice on how negative words paralyzed the protagonist of the story, toppling her confidence like house of cards and limiting her ability to believe in herself.
“What could it be”
Written by Nandini Nayar, this book explores the imagination of a small boy who tries to guess the gift inside the neatly gift-wrapped box. What begins as an ordinary guessing game unfolds into an encouragement guide for children in making them believe that they can be anything they want to be. Sameer, a small boy, in the book is gifted with sky high imagination. He pounces at the challenge that guessing game offers. With his peerless imagination swinging high, he ultimately wins the game and figures out the object hidden inside the shiny blue wrapper.
With a simple story and eye-soothing illustrations by Francesco Manetti, this book not only propels the message of adventure and imagination but also amplifies the point of affirmation fluidly.
With limpid eyes, Sameer ponders “What could it be” and conjures up some random answers to his problem, only to find his mother’s voice caress him with bulk of affirmation that spells out “Yes you definitely could be that thing”.
“Sameer stared at the box. He touched the shiny blue paper. “Is it a kite?” he asked, “Can I soar high into the sky with it?”” (snippet from the book)
Sameer, most of the times, joyfully jumps as if he has cracked the code. In the above extract too, he thinks he has finally accomplished the much- awaited answer. He dreamily thinks it to be a kite and instinctively asks his mom whether he can soar high like a kite. His mother doesn’t let Sameer down but she replies “You will soar but it is not a kite” She could have just left it at “No it is not a kite” but this is where the book’s highlight is. She wants Sameer to hear more than that. She thinks that he can soar high one day and she wants to make him believe that he can be anything he want or feels like. Subtle nuances that every page carry will reinstate the power of affirmatory words. Finding the gift is not the only theme that takes centre stage but making a strong point that a child can be anything he/she wants and they can do any activity if they have set their mind, also walks hand in hand with the theme.
Just like kite, Sameer comes up with different answers on each page like clay, book of stories, set of blocks, jigsaw puzzle and many more till he reaches the correct answer. His mom patiently listens, empathizes with Sameer and positively states the words like “he can build bridges, he can enter into a world of stories, he can form pictures and he can be whoever he wants to be” By uttering such statements, she not only succeeds in driving a motivational message to Sameer but also gives him assurance that she will always believe in him no matter what.
Affirmation has a capability to spirit magic on the children. The knowledge that his mother believes his capability will make him focus his lens on his task/goals and make him achieve success in life. Also, positive beliefs and words have a chain reaction as its radiant glow has far-reaching effect. Sameer will not only grow up to be well-shaped positive person but he will exude the same beliefs or thought process to people he will meet.
If positive words have such an effect, why did King Dasaratha failed to believe in their power? Why did he disregard his only daughter ‘Shanta’ to such an extent that his words haunted Shanta all through her life? Why did his conduct towards her became a cause of self-doubt and diffidence in her?
Shanta was the daughter of King Dasaratha and sister of Rama. She did not get any attention from her parents nor they lavished any affection on her. Except Kaikeyi who believed Shanta and her abilities. Being an only empowered women among the other wives of Dasaratha, Kaikeyi established her position to shower motherly affection on Shanta. Shanta too highly regarded Kaikeyi for all her love and support. This book, Shanta: The Story of Rama’s Sister, talks about her story on how her father did not value her for what she was, a girl, but yearned for a son to meet his expectations. That said, it not only talks about a father who considered her as a disappointment but hugely magnifies the heartbreak of a daughter who almost suffered her entire life longing for one kind glance from her father. The kind words did not come out from her father’s mouth as she expected and she couldn’t make up for his father’s disappointment. Her father’s harsh words made her believe that she is worthless and glorified her to be an illumination of failure which in truth she never was.
“You are going to fail, you are good for nothing, you are just a woman – a voice whispered in her mind’s ear. Her father’s voice. Dasaratha might have given her away, but he clung to her mind, eroding her confidence. She wanted to go back. She grew uneasy. That’s when she hears Kaikeyi in her mind “Shanta, you may have your faults, but one thing I like about you is that you never give up”
Negative words clings and tags along like an invisible dagger ready to strike and annihilate one. In the above extract, Shanta was about to cross the river when she hears her father’s voice in her mind. The ungracious words muttered by her father demotivated her to inch forward. “You are good for nothing” tore her into pieces and festered her already toppled confidence. But the saving grace were the kind words that replaced the negativity. The voice of Kaikeyi praising her ability of never giving up in truly tough times got her back and Shanta remembering that, plunged into the river and waded through swirling waters.
Dasaratha died in the arms of Shanta and none among his four illustrious sons were accessible or within his reach at that time. That was the irony of this story where a daughter whom he thought was worthless and will not equal a son was the only source of happiness in his deathbed and he left the world in her lap. This story though mainly talks about Shanta getting treated as an outcast by her own family except Kaikeyi, also brings out a picture of negative words scarring one’s belief on themselves and how that scar becoming untreatable in the long run.
Affirmation brings the spring in a child. It swells their confidence and becomes a reason for their success as against a negative word that crashes them down, pushing further in the deepest bottom of the low.
Affirmation will make a child more social, let them have meaningful connections, draw them towards the goal that they have set in their minds, and a stronger peace within. Negative words make them turn against themselves, ruins their mental peace, suffer distress and conflicts with family members and also could result in abusive thoughts or behaviour.
Your child sees you through the words you utter. The words have such a powerful effect that it becomes an extension of one’s personality. Affirmation needs to be taught but to see it happen in your child, one should live by example. So how important is affirmation to you? Do you want to change your child’s narrative and encourage positive self-talk?
Mansi Zaveri
Rati Ramadas Girish
KSP Team
Vaishnavi Venkatraman
